DISABILITY AND DUAL DIAGNOSES

Patrick and Dad

As a woman, I approach our son’s disability differently than my husband. I am more overprotective and apprehensive while my husband’s attitude is freer somehow. This creates a good balance, which is necessary in having a family member with any kind of disability! Autism is a big challenge due to the fact that it is hard to know what is needed, as many times autistic individuals are nonverbal. This puts a lot of stress in the family since one has to often guess what his or her needs are at any given moment. My husband takes our son with autism, Patrick, out for car rides, walks or to get him a slushy at the store. I feel such joy when I see him with Patrick. It isn’t easy for Dads I think, because they are the ones that want to fix everything, and there is nothing about autism you can fix!

I would like to think that we are on the brink of a greater understanding of how to support people with disabilities and their families. In this age of technological advances and knowledge, one would think this population would have better resources. Yet, oddly enough, there is still such a need for therapists and therapies. Why wouldn’t people want to go into a career of helping others by becoming a speech, occupational, or physical therapist? This is my constant headache, and my answer is that there needs to be greater education for the demand in this field.

There is still such a stigma associated with having a disability. Fear, maybe, or some inner horror of possibly catching a disability, which is, of course, quite impossible! Also, there is a prevalent culture that emphasizes physical beauty and physique. This culture puts great expectations on people to think and act in a more materialistic way. All of which is in contrast to what the inner self needs: acceptance and love.

I have found that for any disability, for example, autism, there are many times dual diagnoses as well. For example, my son is autistic, but also has pica, apraxia, and sensory processing disorder. Pica is when someone eats something that he or she is not supposed to eat, like dirt or sand. Apraxia is when it is hard to form words, due to misfiring brain signals. Usually the word will sound garbled. Sensory Processing Disorder is a very complicated one and hard to describe! To put it simply, sounds and people cause a high level of stress. Please look this one up online. For most people, stress is hard enough to manage; however, when you have a sensory disorder, it is magnified.

It has taken me a long time to learn to just breathe and stay in the moment. After all, the purpose of our lives is joy, not stress. So, go eat some chocolate and give your loved ones hugs and let them know how much they are loved. Big hug and kiss to my husband, my better half, who completes me.