On Receiving Graciously: And Other Feminine Superpowers
Written by: Dr. Mika Deshotel
“The ocean, [as a symbol of the mother], has a broad enough bosom to embrace and become one with the heavens above, even coming to resemble its sky-blue color. The ocean lies at the lowest level, receiving all the waters of the world. The ocean embraces everything and gives birth to all life. Many kinds of life grow abundantly in the ocean. In response to the moon’s gravitational pull, there is the ebb and flow of the tides and the changes of the seasons. In response to the sun’s warmth, vapor forms on the surface of the ocean and the climate is regulated.” - Hak Ja Han, Mother Han
According to Laura Doyle, relationship coach and author of The Empowered Wife, receptivity is the essence of the feminine. Like the moon, which reflects the light of the sun, feminine energy tends to be described with words like passivity, receptivity, magnetism and softness. And when women lean into these qualities, it is like they are tapping into some of their most potent superpowers.
Now, we don’t often feel like soft power is very strong at all—especially in the culture we live in, where productivity, movement, and results mean everything. As a woman called into leadership, I struggled with the idea of a woman’s role being anything other than burdensome. But as I’ve come to learn and grow in my roles as both a wife and mother, I am beginning to appreciate the strength that exists in the beauty of a woman’s soft power, in her magnetic ability to manifest her desires and her ability to intuit just what is needed in a given situation.
To be receptive in a relationship is to be open, empathic, and vulnerable. When women are receptive in an intimate relationship, it allows energy to flow in a positive way. Mother Han explains that women are like the ocean, which reflects the color of the sky and is a haven for a myriad of sea life. More than that, water is symbolic of life and the ocean moreover, is a symbol for being the birthplace for all of life’s creatures from the very beginning. This is also why the ocean is noted as representing motherhood- it is the place to nurture and embrace everything, like a mother’s love.
When I reflect on these words by Mother Han, I can’t help but reflect upon the hard reality that women so often receive not only the beautiful things of this world, but are at times required to sift through the junk and the dirt of our fallen reality. I’ve been wrestling with this idea, asking myself, “why is it that women need to be the ones to bear this kind of burden?” It seems to me that perhaps, we have these superpowers within us to do just that. I think in many ways, because women are more emotionally attuned towards others, make space for more nuanced ways of thinking and acting, and seek to establish greater connections around them than their male counterparts, then naturally, this is why women are called to absorb all the negativity along with the positivity that this world is being afflicted by. Perhaps this is why women are called, as Mother Han explains, to be the vanguards in bringing about a more peaceful world. It’s not that women alone are meant to right all the wrongs, but women, in waking up to their true beauty, prowess, and courage, can help model the way for true equality and peace for everyone.
Pay attention to how you feel after you do things—quiet receptiveness
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