Written by: Bruna Allen
I have been a member and a volunteer for WFWP for 26 years and in the latter half, I grew into the new role as a grandmother. On this journey, a very fulfilling one, I have benefited from the example that our founder, Dr. Hak Ja Han, a native of Korea who is affectionately known as Mother Han, has modeled. She is the mother of 14 children and great grandmother of many more, and her words of wisdom and practical advice have enriched my journey to meaningful womanhood.
The most difficult task for a mother, who is involved in public activities, is to juggle her role outside of the house with that in the home in a manner that fulfills everybody’s expectations. As relevant as the impact is that her public life generates, it is not as important as the proper development in the children’s upbringing and the happiness of one’s own spouse. Ideally, the husband plays a significant role as well in raising the children, and equally important is that both husband and wife be a sounding board for each other, as each sees things from unique emotional and rational standpoints.
I agree with John Gray when he said that “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.” But, also with Mother Han who has demonstrated in her relationship to her later husband, the Rev. Dr. Sun Myung Moon, in their 52 years of marriage, that the seemingly insurmountable conundrum can be overcome when both husband and wife see each other as representations of the Creator. Their brainchild, WFWP, indeed promotes the idea that the divergent perspectives can be brought closer if the spouses share a common love for the Creator, for it fosters commitment and a steady mutual love for each other. Then, collaboration between the spouses becomes easier as they both experience an intrinsic personal joy and openness rooted in the love for and trust in the Creator.
However, Mother Han calls special attention to the role of women both inside and outside of the home. She believes that the woman is particularly equipped to be the giver of love because of the very identity she has as giver of life itself. And this is what I especially love about WFWP: it recognizes that motherhood is a choice, while also acknowledging that, when embraced, it can bring a profound sense of fulfillment and completeness. Mother Han has demonstrated that, and she has endeavored to inspire all women to feel that bearing and raising children is not a burden but pure fulfillment. The result of that choice is a family unit whose members are meant to learn to “live by the logic of love,” as Mother Han and her husband have always stressed—that phrase became the motto of WFWP for it underlies the core service-oriented principle that constitutes its culture. In such a family, each child learns respect and sacrifice from the parents’ example; and that family can then contribute to the wellbeing of the community.
The WFWP’s founders' emphasis on the traditional family may be seen as rooted in the Korean culture that has been dominated by patriarchy where the husband is the provider and the undisputed head of the family. Instead, Mother Han contends that the role of a mother, even as a stay-at-home wife, is as important as that of her husband. Also, as she has modeled, a woman who is likewise active outside of the home can be successful without feeling that she has to compete with men by assuming male qualities, rather she ought to let her own unique female qualities guide her, for they well complement those of the men. When I was young, in my own country of origin, I feared entering into the world because of the male dominance—at that time, women had not yet broken through the so-called glass ceiling. So, I tried to force myself to assume a semblance of toughness and self-assurance, but likely for me, I did not have to do that for long because God called me to work for a charitable organization whose non-competitive environment allowed me to feel much more relaxed and at ease, that is, free to be my own self. I think now that Mother Han’s own example and worldwide advocacy have had an impact on women gaining a better status in the world.
When I came across WFWP some years after moving to the United States, I was so excited to hear about their philosophy of womanhood for it resonated with what I perceived in my own heart. I felt empowered and continue to feel such, as it has helped me navigate the world of career with more confidence, while being true to myself. All the while, I think I have been pretty successful at tending to my own family as well as making time to volunteer to network for WFWP and organize various events. I am forever grateful for the supporting sisterhood I found, and especially to Mother Han for having created such a precious organization.