Where You End and I Begin: Reclaiming Peace in "Self-Care Isn't Selfish"
Setting boundaries might sound simple on paper, but learning where you end and another person begins is a lifelong practice. Recently, an intimate group of 12 online participants gathered for a transformative virtual program titled "Self-Care Isn't Selfish," led by facilitator Kendra Stein.
Grounded in the landmark book Boundaries by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, the workshop dove straight into the heart of relational and emotional health. Kendra invited everyone to visualize an imaginary circle drawn around themselves—a personal sanctuary holding their unique roles, values, and responsibilities. While drawing that circle takes only a second, keeping your energy inside it in daily life takes real intention.
To help unpack why we so often step outside our circles, Kendra introduced the Karpman Drama Triangle, highlighting three reactive roles we easily slip into:
the Persecutor (who disregards others' perspectives),
the Victim (who diminishes their own agency),
and the Rescuer (who undermines others' ability to help themselves).
Sharing a candid personal example, she challenged attendees to ask themselves tough, clarifying questions: Where did I overstep, overreact, overhelp, or attempt to manipulate? How can I take full ownership of my own choices?
The session came alive as participants brought real-life scenarios to the floor. With Kendra's guidance, abstract concepts turned into actionable clarity. Everyone walked away equipped with practical tools to protect their time, energy, and peace while showing up authentically and healthily in their relationships.
